I live in eastern Washington State near the Idaho border in a college town, Pullman, WA. Pullman is home to Washington State University and is nestled in the Palouse, a region that is known for hundreds of miles of undulating wheat fields. Pullman is as much connected to the shifting seasonal rhythms of the alien agrarian landscape as it is to the academic calendar and special events that shape the lives of 27,000 students — and a minority of year-long residents including professors like me.
A couple years ago my employer Washington State University recently rebranded and consolidated Dad’s weekend and Mom’s weekend into two “Family Weekends” that still happen in the fall and spring, respectively. This coming weekend is the first family weekend, formerly dad’s weekend. I used to joke with a friend that Dad’s weekend should be called Deadbeat Dad’s Weekend, a reference to the many dads that just didn’t show up — in life or on that weekend specifically. But for me it was always Dead Dad’s Weekend. The weekend had served as one of several annual reminders that I lost my dad to cancer at a young age (the other dates being his birthday and death day). Dead Dad’s Weekend had also been a chance to reflect on the roles of mothers and fathers, and the importance or lack thereof of these kinds of events.
I can speak only for myself here in saying that I did not mind having a dad’s weekend, even if it did serve as a reminder of not having a dad. But I am not the age of an average undergraduate student anymore. When I was that age, when I had recently lost a father, boy did I mind. I minded everything and was just generally pissed at everything and everyone. Teenagers who have recently lost a parent are some of the most pissed off and possibly most creatively motivated — if only by anger — humans on the planet. Here are some famous artists who lost mothers or fathers, and the approximate ages they were when one of their parents died:
John Lennon, Paul McCartney, Eric Clapton (2), John Mayer (19), Pablo Picasso (7), Frida Kahlo, Georgia O’Keeffe (15), Vincent van Gogh (15), Edgar Degas (13), Gustaf Klimt, Henri Matisse (12), Mark Rothko (10), Mary Cassatt (7)
That’s a short list but I could keep going. Now, although obviously I’m not in that echelon it is easy to just see myself as another person who lost a parent and was fortunately at least able to turn that angst into some interesting art. The stuff I made as a teenager and in my early twenties has a furious intensity that I could never match even if I wanted to. On previous (Dead) Dads Weekend I was at peace.
But Mom’s weekend was different.
As anyone who lives in Pullman knows, springtime Moms’ weekends had a reputation as being raucous and spirited occasions. For about a hundred years (from 1927) the moms have come to our small town nestled in the rolling Palouse hills. The population of Pullman grew exponentially. The aisles of the store shelves were stripped bare. This article from our student newspaper has a few choice quotes:
Freshman biology major Mikayla Holmes said she’s heard a lot of hype regarding the upcoming weekend. “I heard Mom’s Weekend is the most feared weekend by the police,” Holmes said. “It’s the weekend where the most condoms are sold.” 1
I’ve heard these things too. The Coug moms are legendary.
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